Believe it or not, even though many men and women know their partner is currently thinking about a divorce, it has a tendency to come as a small shock to you, regardless. Why? There are lots of factors for getting divorce. Your partner may let you in on what he’s thinking as it pertains to a union, but when the thoughts start to become negative, many partners will attempt to soften the blow or to paint a nicer picture. Unfortunately, they tend to think out loud when they speak to family and friends about their feelings, which more often than not, implies he has actually made his choice.
So why then doesn’t he just tell you he wants a divorce? Wouldn’t it be better, rather than finding out from other people or discovering evidence from somewhere else?
If one puts some thought in it, you can pick up the tell tales.
He’s not served me…. He has not moved out yet but spends more time together with his siblings or friends rather than with me…..
One can clearly see that your spouse and you are experiencing problems. The husband had started recently upgraded his flat a few months back and struggling financially. Things were far from perfect. You tried to accept the situation as it is and gulped hard, but you did not let go and played along. He says he still treasures the relationship and no matter how difficult it is to believe, you still feel misunderstood. To make matters worse, you found out from outsiders, who revealed that your spouse had confided to her husband that you could be getting a divorce. You confronted your husband about this and he explained that he has not made any conclusions. He states that he does not know if we’re currently getting a divorce or not. You really don’t understand why he’s currently playing these mind games. You start thinking “Why doesn’t he tell me he wants a divorce? Yes, I’ll be disappointed and sad. But I prefer to be truthful with me instead of lying nonchalantly. If he desires a divorce, why not inform me? Because frankly, I will learn about it anyhow.”
I can indicate some reasons. When I had been split (or if my husband was considering divorcing and did not talk about this with me for a little while,) there had been lots of individuals who understood about my husband’s feelings toward our relationship than I did. Somehow, it angered me because I believed it made me feel like I had been the last to understand and that my husband had not been confidential at all about it. We got divorced.
And I think a similar scenario may be the reason your spouse isn’t asking for a muslim divorce lawyer Singapore. Either he is not one hundred percent convinced he needs one or isn’t yet prepared to move with the divorce proceedings. And there might be many different reasons for it. Or maybe he is hoping to receive his finances in order.
If you’d still like to salvage your marriage (or are still considering rescuing it) this is a significant gap. I understand that it is embarrassing and frustrating to hear from other people about your union. But in the event that you need a reconciliation, then you need to set your attention and be more focused. You need to place the things all aside that do matter in the long run. And in the event that you’re able to get your marriage back, that isn’t likely to be an issue in many years to come.
I would put my focus on the simple fact that, for any reason, he registered for one or has not asked for a divorce. Who understands his reasoning that is particular? He may not understand it himself. The point is, even if he wanted a divorce right at this moment, one would clearly see that has not sorted out his priorities and merely holding it off. And he has not told you yet, that he cares enough for you to not come forward and which shows that he is confident about his fantasies with something that might not occur.
In any event, this all usually means you might still have time. And that’s a beginning point that you may attempt to save your marriage.
This article was posted by one of our readers, Mdm Hafizah bte Ayub. She provides counseling for many Muslim couples at a local mosque in Singapore.